I sat on my couch in a quiet living room slowly flipping through the pictures in my phone. The tears welled up in my eyes and soon began to roll down my face. Picture after picture of wonderful, carefree days taken before I really understood suffering. I sat back, gently tossed the phone onto another cushion of the couch beside me, and thought, “when will this pain end?”
That moment and thought was several years ago. Now, I have the hindsight to answer the question…sort of. That pain, that horribly intense all-consuming sort of pain did, in fact, end. I am happy to report this fact to those who may be having similar thoughts today. It will get better. But, when…? When will this heavy blanket of grief end?
Time is not a good healer. I know that goes against common thought, but just time, in and of itself, does not heal. You can sit with grief, even intense sorts of grief, for a long time dragging the pain out and spreading it over many more months and years than necessary. Time, in this case, works against the grieving, prolonging the pain.
Complete passivity to grief in our lives won’t result in personal and spiritual growth that God is seeking to lead us through. In the book of James, chapter 1, he writes, “Consider it a real joy…” He is referring to our experience during various trials. We are to consider. This is an active verb, something we do. Action we take. In Romans, chapter 5, Paul gives a similar exhortation to “boast” in our afflictions. As we would boast in Him, or our weaknesses, we should boast in afflictions due to the work, in Christ, they perform leading to endurance, character, and hope in our lives.
Grief is active work. God uses our trials to sanctify and draw us closer to Him. How long does this take? It may take awhile, but if we are pursuing Him and finding strength in Him, and discovering His will, our trial is worked through differently and put into godly perspective. The grief hurts, and that is part of the journey. But, we can strive and reach toward God in sorting out our grief, allowing Him to do the work that only He can do in our hearts. He will walk with you, help you pick up and re-build the shattered pieces, and continue with you long after the initial pain is gone. Our Father is faithful!